We are sponges soaking up everything we experience. Our ears perk up and our eyes widen to capture the essence of the moment. Then, we expel it to those around us like emotional vomit. Like it or not everyone performs this cycle. So, let’s look at two types of sponges, clean and dirt.
A clean sponge is just that. It has no filth, grime, or moldy mildew. If said sponge soaks up clean water, it will expel clean water. If that same sponge soaks up dirty water it will expel dirty water.
You at this point:What a scientific break through!
Me: I know, right?
You: Let me sum up my research thesis in one word. Duh!
Bare with me because this is where people don’t make the connection.
A dirty sponge expels dirty water. Meaning, it takes time to clean that sponge. The more dirt it soaks up, the longer it will need to be cleaned.
Going back to my first statement, we are sponges. What type of environment are we subjecting ourselves to? Do we watch only family oriented movies? Is our music pure and wholesome? Are the people we surround ourselves with positive?
We cannot help who we are forced to work with. However, we can control our actions. Either they will warm up to us or find someone else to talk to. Like minded people are attracted to each other. Stay positive and positive people will find us. It starts with what we absorb.
Imagine a room full of five year old children. Which child is in charge? Which child has authority to say who is better than whom? We as adults are very similar to these children. We are all equal. Yet, we place judgment on others everyday. We are quick to point out the faults of others. Why? Are we so insecure that we need to bring down others in order to improve our own self-stature? We constantly compare the success of others to the failure of our own. We create the illusion of inequality that constitutes our discontent. Our perception is askew due to our fear that we are being left out. This indeed is the action of a five year old.
Simply put, I have no right to judge you. There is no rebuttal to this statement. We are all on the same rock floating through space. Our time on this rock is limited. I can find plenty of constructive things to do with my time. Judging is not one of them. 🙂
We all have standards we live up to. These are the guidelines for meeting our own self-expectations. For most of us the foundation of these standards were instilled in us from our parents.
The problem with these expectations is that they are often imposed onto others. Self-expectation should remain as such. I have no right to impose my standards of living onto you. We have the freedom how to live each day. Parenting is the only exception to this. But, we are not talking about parenting.
Always take the time to improve yourself. Do not force improvement onto others. We all have our own path to take. Dictating to others how to live forces them to walk your path. Only one person should walk your path. Does this mean we should be alone? Not at all. Everyone does not take the same steps when moving about a house. The paths from room to room may be similar, however, the placement of their feet may be quite different.
If you feel that I don’t have your best interest at heart, are you really going to listen to my criticism? More than likely the answer is no. Love is constructive not destructive. Yes, changes may need to be made that might bring a destructive appearance. However, it is the end results that matter. A garden is not made without first tearing up the soil. With that in mind, how many times have we thought back to our childhood and remembered the lessons we neglected to listen to. If we had the foresight then to see why our parents said what they did, I’m sure our attitude would have been different.
The opinion of a stranger weighs less than the opinion of a friend. If you do have to throw criticism towards someone be professional, encouraging, and ensure that they understand that you care about them. Never focus on the negative. Rather, focus on the bright side of the situation. Anyone can complain about the bad. It takes discipline to change that focus and constructively criticize someone in a manner that they feel better knowing that you took the time to express you concerns. We are all human. We demand to be treated as such. 🙂
Just because I feel a certain way about a person does not mean they will feel that way towards me. The word relationship comes from the base word relate. Two people must be able to relate to each other, in a possitive manner, in order for there to be a constructive relationship. Even then there is no guarantee that love will coexist between the two. We must be willing to admit this fact. Love does not alway work the way that we want it to.
This is why it is said love is unconditional. It is not reciprocated back to us due to our actions. It is given back out of free will. Honestly, I would have it no other way 🙂
I have a friend who is like a brother to me. When my wife and I were stationed in Norfolk he spent some time with us. I’m not going to say I’m the easiest person to live with. I do have my moments of not being a good host. However, this guy had a way of making a bad situation hilarious. His favorite thing to do when I got aggravated at him was spread his arms in a hugging fashion and sing the Judds song “Love can build a bridge” in a horrible off key manner. No matter how many times he did it I always seemed to join in singing and got over my aggrevation. To this day if I get upset or irritated, I sing that song to myself.
Love really does matter. No one wins from holding a grudge. Although it took me awhile to learn this, I’m glad I did.
I am not in favor of using the word “hate” when it comes to describing my emotions towards others. Truth is I don’t hate individuals. We are all capable of change. I have found that most people that I don’t like aren’t bad people. We just have different views. I have learnt to respect the views of others without expecting that respect in return. I will not demand respect. I will earn it. This mindset has allowed me to see eye to eye with a lot of people that I didn’t get along with.
Its OK to disagree. It is not OK to disrespect others because of their views or opinions.