life

A Slight Case of Gerascophobia

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Take a moment to say I love you, for you never know when the last breath will come. Often times it comes as a thief in the night when we last expect. That unexpected phone call that says they’re gone. For some it’s not that obvious. Days melt into weeks, weeks into years, and years into scores. Before we know it we are staring at the face of an old person in the mirror. Where did the time go? The soul doesn’t age as the body does. Young in spirit, old at heart. The younger generation will never have time for us. We require too much attention, and they have their own life to live. Until one day they are looking in the mirror at the same fate that met us.

Take a moment to look at yourself, for you will never be this young again. Even 75 is young to an 95 year elder. At what age do we become old? Is there a set age limit for youth and vitality? Is it 40, 50, or even 60. At the age of 60 do I not still have a lot of life left, or is death knocking on my door? When will our children turn to us and say we must put you in a nursing home? Fear strikes a lot of people, when it comes to getting old. We fear that we will be thrown into a home, left and forgotten. We fear that our children will want nothing to do with us. Suppose they take their inheritance and never speak to us again. What then?

Fear is not to be had in the heart. It only creates bad health and worriment. Tomorrow will come and a new day will bring new adventures.  As we get older our minds will get more feeble, but do not worry about how you will be tended to. Life will go on. You will be fed. You will be clothed. You will have health care provided. Learn to live life and be happy, so that when that day comes and you are staring in the mirror, you will be staring at happiness. Do not take life too seriously. It will laugh at you and with you every chance it gets. Smile, even if it is on the inside. This is the first step in being happy. Forgive everyone, including yourself. Guilt is a reminder, not a wall. Everyone deserves to be forgiven. We all will grow old. Question is, how will you take it?

Drama, what is it good for?

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Why are we drawn into drama? How can we see the right from the wrong? How can we prevent drama? These are all good questions. To start, let’s look at what drama is. Drama is simply a conflict or contrast in characters. Drama is often brought by people who like to argue or have opposing opinions. These individual will often quickly escalate their point of view into an argument as a way of winning the debate. The dramatic person knows that the majority of people do not like to argue. Winning these debates gives the person a sense of victory.

If we are caught up in an argument with someone who always has an opposing view, how can we make them see that we are right? Believe it or not, we can’t. If someone has their mind set on winning the debate, they will say anything in order to get the last word in. Basically put, they will beat you down with their ignorance. The best thing to do is shut up. Seriously. There is no such thing as a one sided argument. There has to be opposition.

I’ve only spoke of verbal drama so far. There is another type that, in my opinion, is far worse. These are the people who bring drama to life. They start animosity Their enmity towards others happiness often drives them to cause grief. These individuals don’t just verbalize their opposition, they set up scenarios in order to prove their point. They use stress and pain as their tools in order to prove their point. Some of these individual are so good at setting up others for failure that they do not appear to be involved. How? Simply put, “my enemy’s enemy is my friend.” By starting rumors and causing friction between two people, that is how they produce their drama.

How do we stop this from happening? Once again, stop. Look at what is happening. Oil and water will separate itself once the jar stops shaking. Yes, it will take time. But, it will happen. When drama happens, walk away. At a distance, look at what is happening. Stick with the facts. Let your emotions go. Why did this happen? What started it? When did it start? Who was all involved? When we take the time to look at the situation from a distance we see a completely different picture. This process has saved a lot of friendships for me. It also identified who I should drop as a friend.

When looking at a situation from a distance it is important not to bring the emotions you felt into the new picture. If you were in the wrong then you were in the wrong. We all have been there. Being honest is huge in determining what happened. With that being said, don’t jump on the grenade in order to save others. Weigh the views and see how they fall. Do not let guilt drive you into pointing the finger at yourself. This will not do anyone justice.

How can we prevent this from happening in the first place? Take a lesson from me. Everyone does not need to be your friend. Just because you have their back does not mean that they will have yours. I had to learn to evaluate the people around me. I found out that a lot of people were not worth my time. I was more of an asset to them than they were to me. A lot of the people I called friends were bad investments. My time is precious. Now I choose very cautiously who I keep close and who I keep at a distance. I am a happier person for it. Sure, at the time I was the life of the party, Everyone was laughing. Most of them were laughing at me, and a few were laughing with me. Drama is a beast and should be removed from your life. There should not be any place for a person who lives to start animosity. Take the time to evaluate others. Do they bring drama into your life? If so, are they willing to change? If not are they worth keeping in your life. Remember, it’s your life. Who you keep in it is up to you.