joy

Self-equality

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Imagine a room full of five year old children. Which child is in charge? Which child has authority to say who is better than whom? We as adults are very similar to these children.  We are all equal. Yet, we place judgment on others everyday.  We are quick to point out the faults of others.  Why? Are we so insecure that we need to bring down others in order to improve our own self-stature? We constantly compare the success of others to the failure of our own. We create the illusion of inequality that constitutes our discontent. Our perception is askew due to our fear that we are being left out. This indeed is the action of a five year old.

Simply put, I have no right to judge you. There is no rebuttal to this statement. We are all on the same rock floating through space. Our time on this rock is limited. I can find plenty of constructive things to do with my time. Judging is not one of them. 🙂

Improper imposition

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We all have standards we live up to.  These are the guidelines for meeting our own self-expectations. For most of us the foundation of these standards were instilled in us from our parents.

The problem with these expectations is that they are often imposed onto others. Self-expectation should remain as such. I have no right to impose my standards of living onto you. We have the freedom how to live each day. Parenting is the only exception to this.  But, we are not talking about parenting.

Always take the time to improve yourself. Do not force improvement onto others.  We all have our own path to take. Dictating to others how to live forces them to walk your path. Only one person should walk your path. Does this mean we should be alone?  Not at all. Everyone does not take the same steps when moving about a house. The paths from room to room may be similar, however, the placement of their feet may be quite different.

Critical Weight

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If you feel that I don’t have your best interest at heart, are you really going to listen to my criticism? More than likely the answer is no. Love is constructive not destructive. Yes, changes may need to be made that might bring a destructive appearance. However, it is the end results that matter. A garden is not  made without first tearing up the soil. With that in mind, how many times have we thought back to our childhood and remembered the lessons we neglected to listen to. If we had the foresight then to see why our parents said what they did, I’m sure our attitude would have been different.

The opinion of a stranger weighs less than the opinion of a friend. If you do have to throw criticism towards someone be professional, encouraging,  and ensure that they understand that you care about them. Never focus on the negative. Rather, focus on the bright side of the situation. Anyone can complain about the bad. It takes discipline to change that focus and constructively criticize someone in a manner that they feel better knowing that you took the time to express you concerns. We are all human. We demand to be treated as such. 🙂

Love is unconditional

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Just because I feel a certain way about a person does not mean they will feel that way towards me. The word relationship comes from the base word relate. Two people must be able to relate to each other, in a possitive manner, in order for there to be a constructive relationship. Even then there is no guarantee that love will coexist between the two. We must be willing to admit this fact. Love does not alway work the way that we want it to.

This is why it is said love is unconditional.  It is not reciprocated back to us due to our actions.  It is given back out of free will. Honestly, I would have it no other way 🙂

Love can build a bridge

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I have a friend who is like a brother to me.  When my wife and I were stationed in Norfolk he spent some time with us. I’m not going to say I’m the easiest person to live with. I do have my moments of not being a good host.  However, this guy had a way of making a bad situation hilarious.  His favorite thing to do when I got aggravated at him was spread his arms in a hugging fashion and sing the Judds song “Love can build a bridge” in a horrible off key manner. No matter how many times he did it I always seemed to join in singing and got over my aggrevation. To this day if I get upset or irritated, I sing that song to myself.

Love really does matter. No one wins from holding a grudge. Although it took me awhile to learn this, I’m glad I did.

Those that we like least

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I am not in favor of using the word “hate” when it comes to describing my emotions towards others.  Truth is I don’t hate individuals.  We are all capable of change. I have found that most people that I don’t like aren’t bad people. We just have different views. I have learnt to respect the views of others without expecting that respect in return. I will not demand respect. I will earn it. This mindset has allowed me to see eye to eye with a lot of people that I didn’t get along with.

Its OK to disagree. It is not OK to disrespect others because of their views or opinions.

We do not want world peace.

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We all feel as though life is unfair. “Why did we get the bad rap?” We focus on what others get and what we do not get. Our focus is our perception and reality is 100% perception. Everyone claims that they want world peace. This is a lie. We do not want world peace. We want to live comfortably for the rest of our lives. Notice that I did not say rich, or wealthy. Here is why. If I gave you a five gallon bucket crammed full of $100 bills, what would you do with it. Instantly most of us started to think of things to buy. You would exchange what I gave you for something that you wanted or needed. Therefore, we do not want money. Money only allows us to get what we want. The end product is what we want.

What would it feel like to live in world peace? More importantly, what would it take? We would need to be humble. No one could be better than any one else. We all would have to be considered equal. Our standards of living would have to change. We as a society would have to except differences. Media would have to set the example. What if media was a person? Would you associate with a person who focused on the negative in life? Would you agree with a person that described everyone by their skin color? Media is not a good example for us to follow. However, most of us hang on every word that we hear. We watch the news and get mad when a white man beats up a black man. We get angry when our schools force religion on our children. We watch drama then complain about drama being in our lives. Our focus is our perception. How much media are we absorbing in per day. How many Facebook memes call out “those people”? How many of us would scold our kids for talking like Twitter?

Less than 10% of any community volunteers to help; less than ten. Why is that? Why can we not set time aside for our community? The easiest volunteering that I do is marathons. I show up, set up tent, and hand out water. However, we are too busy. Our schedule is full; not too full to watch TV. If we think that is rest, then I have news. The brain is fully active when we watch TV. We are searching the plot and seeking out the twists. We are listening to what is being said, and digesting its message. When we watch TV, our brain is fully engaged. We are absorbing what we watch; news, drama, negativity, hate, and animosity. After absorbing this in, how much of it is being reflected back to those around us? If we truly want world peace, then we need to revise what we do and how we treat each other. This is why I stated that we do not want world peace. We want to live comfortably. What we want is our bills to be paid and the freedom to do what we want. We do not want to work. We work to pay our bills. We work to pay for our toys. In the end it comes down to how much do I want and how much do I need. We do not need that much. However, our want is a bottomless pit. How much money do we throw down that bottomless pit hoping to fill it? This is why life is unfair. This is why we see people getting while we do not. “Want” is a monster. “Want” can make any of us jealous. We want a lot. Are we going to be subservient to our want? Our actions will answer that question.