happiness

Chronic Lane-changer 

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“You’re slowing everyone down.” This was my mental comment as I observed an impatient chronic lane-changer. With each whipping move the automobile caused others to repeatedly slow down and readjust their driving gap. As stated in my last post, I drive the speed limit; not five over. Rarely do I need to slow down since everyone is driving five-over. However, a chronic lane-changer will cause traffic to slow down to five under. Thus, causin me to slow down as well. (Now we’re all driving five under. Joy!)

We are selfish drivers. We want to be first at the red light. We want to pass others. We want the shortest rout for ourselves. 🎶 We can’t drive 55 🎶. 

Is it wrong to want these things? I say no. Wanting to be first at a red light is not wrong. It’s when our actions impede others that it become morally uncouth. Traffic would travel smoother if everyone picked a lane and stuck with it, at least that’s how my theory goes. It’s at this point I know I’m suppose to say “Something something Braess Paradox.” 

The way we coexist with others is very similar to the above mentioned driving. Our actions have a cause and effect on others. Are we helping or hindering those around us? Slowing down and being considerate of others takes discipline.  But, that’s what separates the adults from the children.  Each step we take towards improving ourselves and helping those around us is a step closer to heaven on Earth.  

-cheers

Product Of Our Environment 

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We are sponges soaking up everything we experience. Our ears perk up and our eyes widen to capture the essence of the moment. Then, we expel it to those around us like emotional vomit. Like it or not everyone performs this cycle. So, let’s look at two types of sponges, clean and dirt.

A clean sponge is just that. It has no filth, grime, or moldy mildew. If said sponge soaks up clean water, it will expel clean water. If that same sponge soaks up dirty water it will expel dirty water.

You at this point:What a scientific break through! 

Me: I know, right?

You: Let me sum up my research thesis in one word. Duh!

Bare with me because this is where people don’t make the connection.

A dirty sponge expels dirty water. Meaning, it takes time to clean that sponge. The more dirt it soaks up, the longer it will need to be cleaned. 

Going back to my first statement,  we are sponges. What type of environment are we subjecting ourselves to? Do we watch only family oriented movies? Is our music pure and wholesome? Are the people we surround ourselves with positive? 

We cannot help who we are forced to work with. However, we can control our actions. Either they will warm up to us or find someone else to talk to. Like minded people are attracted to each other. Stay positive and positive people will find us. It starts with what we absorb.  

Look At Us Now

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I remember the 80’s. Social anxiety was stirred by media. It looked similar to today’s media. Skin color was the primary adjective use to describe a person. Sadly, it still is today.
Back then, as “black communities” started to pull together, media asked a simple question. “How dark does your skin need to be in order to be considered “black”?” Soon the brown paper bag became the dividing line. If a person was darker than the bag, then they were “black”. This caused a dived in the community and their unity crumbled. 
How do we come together and stay together? 
Stop listening to media. Turn off the radio’s and TV’s. Talk to each other. Read the news. However, while reading, skim through and filter out the opinionated comments. Keep each other informed. We should be our main source of news and events. There is so much that we can do with social media. But first, we must reboot our way of thinking. We must look beyond the chromatics of our epidermis and see the humanity in everyone. 
We can do better. Dark days will come. Come as they may, we must never lose our unity. We wouldn’t abandon our children in their time of need. We need each other. As we pass each other on the walk, smile to one another. It’s contagious and the simplest form of hope. We bring flavor to this world with our creativity and inspirations.
We are a million shades of earth tone, and we paint this world beautiful. However, every shade of humanity can be found in our hearts, and we make this world beautiful.
Focus on our similarities, and embrace the constructs of humanity. We have created so much beauty. Like salt to a steak we have added to the experience of this world. This joyous truth should not be tainted. 
How many ways can we divide humanity? Rich, poor, Asian, Latino, Catholic, Protestant, east-coast, west-coast, north, south, me, you. Division continues until there are only singularities. Singularities will never unite. We will never unite until we drop our differences. 
The choice is ours to make. It starts with me accepting you and you accepting me. We will learn to enjoy our similarities, our common grounds. We will take this ideology to others and keep it in practice. Together we can overcome our differences.

🎶 I’ve got the power 🎶

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We all have the ability to do our best. Our best means that we give 100%. If someone boasts that they gave 110%, know that they have only been giving 90%. Their extra 10% comes from finally stepping up. There are no winners or loosers as long as we try. If our best does not meet quota then we can improve that aspect or we can search for something that we are better at. There is no such thing as the best. Someone will always be better. Accept that fact and move on. There are too many demands for one person to be the best at all of them. We should humble ourselves but never sell ourselves short. We have the power within to make a difference.  The mere fact that we woke up has given us a chance to make a difference.  Sometimes we get knocked down, but we stand up. Why do bad things happen to good people?  Because we are all watching to see how they stand up. People watch us to see how we stand up. We are the mentors of our peers. Even time we get knocked down we show others how we will not stay down.  They watch and learn from every move we make. 

We may not be the best worker, athlete, parent, friend, husband or wife, and that’s alright. We all have short-comings. But we are here making a difference everyday.  We are a source of inspiration to others. People see our imperfections and they watch us stand up. We motivate others to stand with us. This is when we are at our best.

The situation at hand.

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A loss is not always a negative thing. This is especially true when  negativity is lost. The inverse could be said about a gain. Whether a situation is good or bad is purely relative to one’s perspective and attitude. Life is not cruel, its reality. Reality is 100% perception. It takes discipline to approach every situation with calmness.  Hate, anger, fear, and anxiety are all unnecessary emotions that cause more harm than good. We are human and we are emotional.  However, there is a time and place to express  those emotions.  Always find the gains of every situation.  Accept those gains and move on. Do not gloat or have self-pity.  Move on. Be humble in every situation.  There are lessons to be learnt everyday.  Do not be so emotional or arrogant that you miss the lesson. Life could be better,  but it could also be worse.  Enjoy the moment. You may be the only ray of sunshine someone has. 🙂

Self-equality

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Imagine a room full of five year old children. Which child is in charge? Which child has authority to say who is better than whom? We as adults are very similar to these children.  We are all equal. Yet, we place judgment on others everyday.  We are quick to point out the faults of others.  Why? Are we so insecure that we need to bring down others in order to improve our own self-stature? We constantly compare the success of others to the failure of our own. We create the illusion of inequality that constitutes our discontent. Our perception is askew due to our fear that we are being left out. This indeed is the action of a five year old.

Simply put, I have no right to judge you. There is no rebuttal to this statement. We are all on the same rock floating through space. Our time on this rock is limited. I can find plenty of constructive things to do with my time. Judging is not one of them. 🙂

Improper imposition

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We all have standards we live up to.  These are the guidelines for meeting our own self-expectations. For most of us the foundation of these standards were instilled in us from our parents.

The problem with these expectations is that they are often imposed onto others. Self-expectation should remain as such. I have no right to impose my standards of living onto you. We have the freedom how to live each day. Parenting is the only exception to this.  But, we are not talking about parenting.

Always take the time to improve yourself. Do not force improvement onto others.  We all have our own path to take. Dictating to others how to live forces them to walk your path. Only one person should walk your path. Does this mean we should be alone?  Not at all. Everyone does not take the same steps when moving about a house. The paths from room to room may be similar, however, the placement of their feet may be quite different.