Budget Everything.

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Take time for yourself

We, in general, neglect ourselves a lot. We get wrapped up into our daily lives and forget that we need to tend to ourselves. It’s easier, for some of us, to help others instead of helping ourselves. Why is that? Do we not know that we need things too? I believe this stems from our childhood. We were taught it’s better to help others and to give to other. We, as humans, are naturally selfish. This is not a bad thing for survival purposes, but it is not needed as much in a society. There was a time that we needed to store, stock, and hoard everything. Winter was coming. But, those days are gone, and we still carry that instinct. So as a child we are told not to be selfish. We should share everything, Be social and interact with everyone. We are never taught to budget everything.

Take time for yourself. This may be 30 minutes after the kids go to bed, or an hour in the afternoon. This is the time to relax. Do not turn on the TV. Instead, read a book, do a little bit of needle pointing, or go golf 9 holes. The idea is that you have “you” time. Why did I mention “no TV”. There is not stimulus from watching TV. This “you time” is to be spent doing an activity. Yes, reading is stimulating.

Pay yourself. If money is tight start out with $25 a month. If you cannot afford that then make it $100 a month. This goes into savings, or an investment. Always set money aside for yourself. You are going to need it. Unexpected events will occur and having that cushion will lessen the stress. This money is for you and you alone. If you want to set money aside to help others, then start saving for them separately. Future-you will thank you. Trust me on this one.

Love who you are. You are you. Get over it. You are not me, him or her. And we are thankful for that. If you do not like who you are, then make a list of the things that you do not like. I use to hate the fact that I was always anger. So I wrote down “I hate that I’m always angry”. This opened a sub-list. Why am I always angry? I changed my eating habits, my friends, when I went to bed, when I got up, and my attitude. I forced myself to be happy. Sounds weird, but that’s what I had to do. I had to physically get use to being happy. The chemicals that your body produces are different when you’re angry as oppose to being happy. It’s a blah-blah science thing. Now, I am one of the most happiest (double superlative) person you will ever meet. No joke. Because this is who I wanted to be. My faith does play a huge part in it, but my drive to change who I was played a bigger part. We need to start loving who we are. We need to let go of the little things and just accept ourselves as others have accepted us. All too often, we are our biggest critics. It’s time to stop being so critical and be more accepting.

By budgeting these three things we will find our lives will be less stressful. We will have time for ourselves, which means we won’t mind spending time with others. We will have money when we need it. And lastly, we will love who we are. In the end we will be happier. Happiness lies within all of us. We have to nurture it and allow it to grow. Once it starts growing we will need to maintain it. Take the time and budget everything.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and may we always include ourselves in our budget.

Understanding Social and Personal Expectations.

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Two types of laws

It is common knowledge that one should not kill other people. We should not steal, nor should we tell lies. These are common standards that we all have. Specific standards consist of how we live our lives, and what we expect from ourselves. At no time should we ever enforce specific standards onto others. We all have specific standards that we hold ourselves up to. Most of the times these standards are derived from a mentor or role model that comes into our lives. This could be from our childhood or someone who we associate with. Whichever may be the case, these are our expectations of ourselves. We should never hold someone else to our standards. Would we expect a Maserati Ghibli to function as a Ford 750? People function in the same manner. Each of us have different talents and different abilities. We should never limit another person by imposing our standards on others. Likewise, we should never allow others to impose their specific standards onto us.

With that being said, as we interact with others, there will be common standards of a region that others will have for us. Unless we are willing to change, these standards should not compromise the standards that we have for ourselves. Being in the military I have changed my standards a lot. And, as I have grown older my standards have changed. In the end, we are in control of our self-expectations.

Now for the part that a lot of people have trouble with. Their specific standards are not our standards. People have no right to force their standards onto us. We are to treat each other equally. Never force someone to change just because they do not meet our expectations. We have no right to judge someone or label others. I see this a lot with tattoos. I do not have any tattoos or piercings. People will assume that because I don’t have any tattoos that I am against having them. In truth, I love tattoos, just not on me. I love being a blank canvass. That’s me in a nutshell. The potentials are endless. Should someone hold it against me because I don’t have tattoos? Should I be judged for not putting a design on my skin? Most people would answer no. Then, is it right if I judge other for having them? This too is a no.

These two types of standards are basic human laws. There are the laws that we hold ourselves accountable for, and the laws that everyone is held accountable for. These laws are standards. By adhering to this basic concept we avoid trespassing on each other. We can learn to live together in unison with everyone living up to their own specific standards, but maintaining the common standards. This is how we maintain happiness in a society. We live, love, and learn. It’s easy to judge others for who they are, but it’s wise to accept others for who they are.

Thank you for taking the time to read this, and may we always live up to our standards, and allow others to live up to theirs.

Faith: Step two in finding happiness

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What is faith? How can we define something so powerful by using the limitations of words? Well, here is faith as it is defined by

1. confidence or trust in a person or thing: faith in another’s ability. 2. belief that is not based on proof: He had faith that the hypothesis would be substantiated by fact. 3. belief in God or in the doctrines or teachings of religion: the firm faith of the Pilgrims. 4. belief in anything, as a code of ethics, standards of merit, etc.: to be of the same faith with someone concerning honesty.

When I say “faith” I am speaking about one’s belief or mindset. If a person believes that they will live in poverty, due to how they were raised and taught, then the likelihood of them doing so is great. Our manner of thinking has a huge impact on our daily lives. Our thoughts are the foundation of our faith, solidified by proof. If I wake up and think to myself, “this is going to be one of those days.” I have already set my mind to prepare for bad things. I am on the lookout for those bad things as well. Focus on the bad and we will see the bad. Focus on the good and we will see the good.

Faith has a strange way of growing. If a person sees something “bad” at first they will refrain from it and regard it with disgust. However, if they see it again they will be less offended by it. If exposed to this “bad” thing or “bad” situation long enough, that person will embrace it and this will lead to them being influenced by it. Normally, faith does not happen over night. Faith is often the result of experience.

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In my last blog I covered how to turn desire into reality. Faith is another aspect to that reality. It is the “why” behind the desire. When you follow the steps of turning desire into reality, you are building your faith. You are able to see it, even if it hasn’t transposed into reality. Taking action to make a thought into reality takes faith. The closer your desire gets to becoming reality the stronger your faith will become. This is why having a positive mindset is important. If you went through the steps of obtaining your desire with the thought of “Meh”. Do you really think that the driving force behind your desire will be as strong as if you had the thought of “YES!”?

Our lives will reflect what we are focused on. I do not know why this isn’t taught in schools. It’s mentioned, but faith and a person’s mindset is so powerful that two semesters could easily be taught. Faith is the driving force that converts our desire into reality. This is why religious people go to church. They get a recharge on their faith. Everyone is in a positive mood, they are upbeat, and by golly they are so glad to see you. Positive attitude develops positive faith. Yes there is negative faith. I call this despair. It is the loss of hope. With no hope come no positive faith, only despair. Do not allow yourself to focus on the negative. It will drive you down.

Keep the faith alive. Stay positive. It’s true that everything will not be perfect. Deal with it. What if you hadn’t lost your keys and spent 30 minutes looking for them? Maybe there was a drunk driver you avoided, or maybe someone ran a red light that you would have been crossing. Take every moment in a positive attitude. Learn to be happy more often. This is a lesson that I am still working on, but I’m getting better at it. I can also see the rewards of my efforts. Things that I once stressed over, now seem petty. Faith is the second step in happiness. I hope that you are able to find your faith and build on it.

Thanks for taking the time to read… and as Bon Jovi sang “Don’t Stop Believing”.