A loss is not always a negative thing. This is especially true when negativity is lost. The inverse could be said about a gain. Whether a situation is good or bad is purely relative to one’s perspective and attitude. Life is not cruel, its reality. Reality is 100% perception. It takes discipline to approach every situation with calmness. Hate, anger, fear, and anxiety are all unnecessary emotions that cause more harm than good. We are human and we are emotional. However, there is a time and place to express those emotions. Always find the gains of every situation. Accept those gains and move on. Do not gloat or have self-pity. Move on. Be humble in every situation. There are lessons to be learnt everyday. Do not be so emotional or arrogant that you miss the lesson. Life could be better, but it could also be worse. Enjoy the moment. You may be the only ray of sunshine someone has. 🙂
Imagine a room full of five year old children. Which child is in charge? Which child has authority to say who is better than whom? We as adults are very similar to these children. We are all equal. Yet, we place judgment on others everyday. We are quick to point out the faults of others. Why? Are we so insecure that we need to bring down others in order to improve our own self-stature? We constantly compare the success of others to the failure of our own. We create the illusion of inequality that constitutes our discontent. Our perception is askew due to our fear that we are being left out. This indeed is the action of a five year old.
Simply put, I have no right to judge you. There is no rebuttal to this statement. We are all on the same rock floating through space. Our time on this rock is limited. I can find plenty of constructive things to do with my time. Judging is not one of them. 🙂
Just because I feel a certain way about a person does not mean they will feel that way towards me. The word relationship comes from the base word relate. Two people must be able to relate to each other, in a possitive manner, in order for there to be a constructive relationship. Even then there is no guarantee that love will coexist between the two. We must be willing to admit this fact. Love does not alway work the way that we want it to.
This is why it is said love is unconditional. It is not reciprocated back to us due to our actions. It is given back out of free will. Honestly, I would have it no other way 🙂
I have a friend who is like a brother to me. When my wife and I were stationed in Norfolk he spent some time with us. I’m not going to say I’m the easiest person to live with. I do have my moments of not being a good host. However, this guy had a way of making a bad situation hilarious. His favorite thing to do when I got aggravated at him was spread his arms in a hugging fashion and sing the Judds song “Love can build a bridge” in a horrible off key manner. No matter how many times he did it I always seemed to join in singing and got over my aggrevation. To this day if I get upset or irritated, I sing that song to myself.
Love really does matter. No one wins from holding a grudge. Although it took me awhile to learn this, I’m glad I did.
I am not in favor of using the word “hate” when it comes to describing my emotions towards others. Truth is I don’t hate individuals. We are all capable of change. I have found that most people that I don’t like aren’t bad people. We just have different views. I have learnt to respect the views of others without expecting that respect in return. I will not demand respect. I will earn it. This mindset has allowed me to see eye to eye with a lot of people that I didn’t get along with.
Its OK to disagree. It is not OK to disrespect others because of their views or opinions.
We all feel as though life is unfair. “Why did we get the bad rap?” We focus on what others get and what we do not get. Our focus is our perception and reality is 100% perception. Everyone claims that they want world peace. This is a lie. We do not want world peace. We want to live comfortably for the rest of our lives. Notice that I did not say rich, or wealthy. Here is why. If I gave you a five gallon bucket crammed full of $100 bills, what would you do with it. Instantly most of us started to think of things to buy. You would exchange what I gave you for something that you wanted or needed. Therefore, we do not want money. Money only allows us to get what we want. The end product is what we want.
What would it feel like to live in world peace? More importantly, what would it take? We would need to be humble. No one could be better than any one else. We all would have to be considered equal. Our standards of living would have to change. We as a society would have to except differences. Media would have to set the example. What if media was a person? Would you associate with a person who focused on the negative in life? Would you agree with a person that described everyone by their skin color? Media is not a good example for us to follow. However, most of us hang on every word that we hear. We watch the news and get mad when a white man beats up a black man. We get angry when our schools force religion on our children. We watch drama then complain about drama being in our lives. Our focus is our perception. How much media are we absorbing in per day. How many Facebook memes call out “those people”? How many of us would scold our kids for talking like Twitter?
Less than 10% of any community volunteers to help; less than ten. Why is that? Why can we not set time aside for our community? The easiest volunteering that I do is marathons. I show up, set up tent, and hand out water. However, we are too busy. Our schedule is full; not too full to watch TV. If we think that is rest, then I have news. The brain is fully active when we watch TV. We are searching the plot and seeking out the twists. We are listening to what is being said, and digesting its message. When we watch TV, our brain is fully engaged. We are absorbing what we watch; news, drama, negativity, hate, and animosity. After absorbing this in, how much of it is being reflected back to those around us? If we truly want world peace, then we need to revise what we do and how we treat each other. This is why I stated that we do not want world peace. We want to live comfortably. What we want is our bills to be paid and the freedom to do what we want. We do not want to work. We work to pay our bills. We work to pay for our toys. In the end it comes down to how much do I want and how much do I need. We do not need that much. However, our want is a bottomless pit. How much money do we throw down that bottomless pit hoping to fill it? This is why life is unfair. This is why we see people getting while we do not. “Want” is a monster. “Want” can make any of us jealous. We want a lot. Are we going to be subservient to our want? Our actions will answer that question.
Reality is 100% perception. This small statement has held true through the test of time. If we believe our life is horrible, then it is. If we believe that we are the best, then we are. It doesn’t matter what others think, say, or do. The manner in which we perceive our reality drives how we react and interact. Have you ever taken a statement the wrong way? At the time the statement may have sounded bad or good, but later it was revealed that the statement was meant to be received in the opposite fashion.
I remember once, I had a 1983 Chevy truck with a short narrow bed. It was lifted and had 32″ tires. In Willow Grove PA, it stood out amongst the BMW’s and Lexus’. At a stoplight I had a gentleman lean out of the passenger side of the vehicle beside me, and shouted “Big truck little cockatoo!” Actually he stopped at the first syllable. I smiled and said “Thanks!”
I knew what he meant, but I also knew that that is something said out of envy. It’s said to those with exotic cars, big houses, big boats, In some aspect of the situation that gentleman displayed envy. That is something to be proud of. It would have been easy to get mad and try to defend my the size of my cockatoo. But why? In reality, we were two people at a stoplight, whose paths will never cross again. What would be the point of getting mad? It is healthier to find humor in every situation than to find offense.
Life is to short to go around taking everything in a negative manner. If someone says something to us and it hurt us, we owe it to them and ourselves to be honest and let them know how we felt (in a professional manner, of course). It is also important to understand that people may take what we say differently than we planned on them receiving it. This is where respecting each others feeling come in. We all have had different experiences in life. This allows for different views, and different opinions. If we take the time to understand where we all come from, it is easier to understand how a person may misinterpret what we say. We should take the time to get off of our “high horse”. Everyone is not against us. Everyone is not out to get us. Maybe, just maybe, everyone thinks we are out to get them. Question is, who is going to see the reality?
Thanks for taking the time to read, and may we always stay in a positive reality.